Random Talk: The words I am Sorry

June 23, 2008 at 4:33 pm (Blogroll)

I was contemplating today that the words I am sorry is one of the most powerful sentences in the human language, it has the ability to heal an emotional wound, it has the ability to fizzle out a disagreement, it has this almost magical effect of bringing two people closer but I realized that there are times when it’s not enough. The question is where is that line?

I don’t usually get offended very easily and have a pretty wide scope of understanding people but even for someone like me I have experienced at least 3 moments this year where ‘I am sorry’ didn’t take the usual effect on me. I didn’t feel that cleansing rush that usually occurs when someone who did me wrong says ‘I am sorry.’ Which got me thinking about whether it’s because the situation insulted my core self or if I am being unreasonable.

If someone insulted my core self, would I be considered unreasonable if can’t get myself to forgive? Which brings me to another hurdle is, if I forgive would I be considered a martyr? A pushover? But if a person isn’t able to forgive wouldn’t that negative energy infect your soul? Questions are doing a very weird dance in my head.

I think the moments that I have a hard time rising above is when I do my best to be a good and understanding person, a situation happens where I end up feeling and looking stupid. Whether accidental or intentional, the end feeling is the same. If I didn’t have pride in who I am it would be easier to digest or if it didn’t feel like I am being taken for granted especially when I made a lot of effort, it would be easier console my ‘self’.

I guess it’s something you have to ponder about by trying to look at the big picture. Sometimes trying to look at the big picture is not easy nor does it happen quickly but I think it’s worth the effort if you ultimate objective is not to negatively infect your soul. I think after you have put this effort and it still bothers you then you know that it is something you just have to let go and move on.


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