Life Talk: Cracking the Value Code

April 24, 2008 at 8:39 pm (Blogroll, Personal)

I have been combating with burnout for awhile now and as I was walking around my office whilst waiting for one of my staff to finish writing out something for me I noticed a quote today which I have stuck on my computer “Our values drives our choices and actions.” You would think because I have that stuck on my computer it would be something I look at every day and recite to myself like a mantra but nope, even though it was in plain sight somehow at some point I stopped noticing it, hence the statement “I noticed a quote today.”

Anyways, coming back to topic, looking at the quote suddenly jolted me to look up the word which is defined and I quote “Definition: Values are deeply held beliefs about what is good, right, and appropriate. Values are deep-seated and remain constant over time. We accumulate our values from childhood based on teachings and observations of our parents, teachers, religious leaders, and other influential and powerful people.” So I percolate. So I look in my figurative mirror.

Does that mean if I decide to fore go my health plan because I am stressed mean I have a value that is being flaky? Does that mean if I decide to procrastinate mean I have a value that is being weak? If I have a spazz attack does that mean I am my MOTHER!! *hyperventilates*I hate that mirror. It’s making me question every reaction of my self. So I have to sort. Damn it.

The thing about values is that I think a lot of times we are not aware of it unless we choose to look into it. There are some values we are aware of like, being clean or being honest or being hardworking but then there are the other times where we have no idea and only when we experience a set back we notice. Obviously that choice is up to you. Some people just decide to be a product of their environment. Like how I can tell what is wrong with the process from a defective result (Quality related work :P), I can tell what type of values a person have by the way a person handles themselves or how a person reacts to something. (It’s always easier to see others than thyself :P) But when I am in a setback, after being sucked in the moment for awhile I start to see my environment and see how I got there.

I definitely became the product of my environment hence the burnout. The scary part is, I was sort of stuck in it. Like it felt good to just give in instead of fighting, I thought I was resting but only now I realized I am a result of the chaos of 2007 which goes back to the question “Does that mean I am weak or lazy?” Or whatever.

Then I read my all time favorite article about going through changes “Growing Wings” By Martha Becks

http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/200401/omag_200401_beck.jhtml

I realize that I am not perfect. That there are many layers of my self that I am not even aware of and through adversities is when I can discover them. And it’s ok to dwell in the sadness or feel through the feelings caused by a situation, it’s actually good to feel through the feelings (this part is not easy) because only then you see what you have to learn and actually feel the need to learn from it. This is what progress is about, no progress has ever occurred in a linear fashion, it occurs through setbacks, feeling through the feelings and taking accountability.

So here I am finally looking in my figurative mirror and seeing some of the non effective values I didn’t realize I had, for the type of situations I have found myself in, which is opening the gateway of evaluation of everything from what could have started this snowball effect to burn out oblivion to what I could have done differently to prevent the burn out process to what I would have to do to get out of it. *groan* The getting out part is going to be a bitch because what I feel and what I know I have to do is so far apart, how the heck am I going to coax the two to coincide? That’s another story. So I am taking inventory of my current values based on the results of now and assessing on what to throw out and what to keep and what to adopt. All this from a quote I had the whole time but only noticed now. See how awing our mind is? It lets you see what you need to see when you need it. Obviously this applies to those who are in touch with themselves…if you suppress or be in denial, God could blow up the message in your face and you still probably won’t notice which is how you become a product of your environment.

Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.” – Stephen Covey

I remember reading the 7 habits for highly Effective people by Stephen Covey when I was like 20 I think in my junior or senior year of college. I took the class as an elective and it was a bird course, thought I would just fly right through it with an A in my beak. I didn’t really get the depth of what he was trying to say when I read it during my reading assignments. What the fish is a Value, what is the difference between character and personality, P/PC huh? Egg what? %$!$%^%$#. It was like I understood it but I didn’t. But what I read popped up sporadically as the years went by and it hits me now. Damn I am slow. But I did get an A in the class though. 😛 PS. Stephen Covey is awesome 🙂

I think the most important thing is if I can look in the mirror and respect myself. Sure I can fall, make stupid choices, be lazy, be weak or discover I have values that I may not be proud of but it’s what I do at the end of the day that counts. And knowing this makes me feel a whole lot better even though I still feel shitty.

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